Vaccines

Before this year we were allowed, here in New Mexico, to have a personal exemption regarding vaccinations.  Last month the law changed and now you must have either a medical exemption or religious exemption - where you don't use medical care, just prayers for healing. 

So I have decided it's time to vaccinate my kids so they can attend public school.  I knew this day would come - when the government would take away my personal choice. 

Today was the day when I decided to take them in for a nurse's visit for their first round.  I told the girls they could have a krispy kreme doughnut and chocolate milk if they didn't cry.  I thought that would be rewarding enough but I was wrong...way wrong.  Kendra began to cry even before the nurse was in the room.  She clung to Mark and screamed hysterically.  And she didn't even get the shots yet.  This is all before.  During the shots she was worse and she sobbed for some time after.  Really?  Really?  I wish I could've taken a video of her because her behavior was just so unreal.  I don't even know how to describe it.  Then it was Megan's turn.  She was fine, just cried a little after it was done.  Perhaps it was seeing Kendra in her hysterical state that set her off.  But a few tears and she was done.  I am taking them in each month for shots and so help me she better not act like that again!

Let It Go

Sometimes I have dreams about playing sports in high school.  Last night I dreamt I was playing volleyball and I kept yelling at a girl, "why'd you do it?"  That is what sparked this post.

In an Indiana Jones movie, I think the Last Crusade, he goes to a temple on the side of a cliff and has to find Christ's goblet.  The temple then crumbles.  As Indiana hangs on for life with his father holding on to one hand he reaches for the goblet with the other.  His father says something like, "Indiana, let it go."  He chose to grab onto his father with both hands and was lifted to safety.  Had he continued to reach for the goblet he would've fallen to his death.

Years ago I was wronged and had every right to hate someone.  It's a beautiful story, but I won't share it here.  I chose to let go of the hate, anger, and pain I felt.  It was actually the Atonement that allowed me to let go.  I didn't realize how something so simple as forgiveness could impact someone's life down the road.  Years later I did something that was lifting to this person.  I realized I could have ruined her life, but instead she was lifted.  All because of a simple decision to forgive.  I'm glad I let go.  I felt so light and happy after I did.  Hate and anger are very enticing emotions, very strong and intense.  I choose happiness.

Now fast forward to today.  I think this person has a lot of pain and anger inside of her.  She can't forgive the people who have hurt her.  I wish I could say to her, "let it go."

First Day of School

I was so sad to send Kendra back to school already.  She's just so cute and sweet and I love her being home with me. 

So excited to go!!!

Posing with sister.  Megan helped sissy carry her supplies.

 This has nothing to do with the first day of school.  Megan is so funny and she often looks at me like this.  This mad little irritated face. 

 We harvested some corn from our garden.  I still have "country moments."  I'm like, " okay you shuck the corn outside and then feed the leaves to the cows."  Right?  That is what I did growing up.  Here in the city you just do it in the garbage.  I love how serious the girls took this job.

Best Movie Clip Ever

This movie clip makes me laugh.    When I watched the movie I rewound this clip several times.  Enjoy.

Fetal Heartbeat

I had a doctor appointment this week.  I'm shy of 16 weeks by a couple of days.  It was like any normal visit except he couldn't find the baby's heartbeat.  So at first I wasn't worried, but as he continued to try my mind began to race of what that meant.  I mean, not finding a heartbeat at 9 weeks is common, but at 16 weeks?!?!?  My doctor could tell I was anxious so he brought in an ultrasound machine.  Mark had decided to take some flex time to go to the appointment with me.  I was so glad he was there, I didn't want to go through that alone.  Done that already.  With the ultrasound we could see the heart beating and baby was moving.  He said the size of baby was consistent with my week so all is well.   

Twinners

Everyone says our kids look alike so here are some pics.  Megan at 3, then Kendra at 3.  At birth they looked identical, but they look different to me now.

Why It's Great To Be A Dad

Mark loves being a dad and this is why:

He comes home from work and gets attacked by two little girls aching for his attention.  They love the weekends because daddy is home.  One day this week Megan woke up when Mark opened the garage.  She came downstairs to see him, but he left before she made it all the way down.  Upon hearing the garage close again Megan began crying saying, "No daddy No!"  I came down, scooped her up, and tried to console her as she cried for her daddy.  She eventually went back to sleep.  Mark felt so bad he didn't get to say good-bye to her.  Most of the time the kids sleep through the garage opening and closing.

I Give Myself Permission To Complain

I have lasted through, what, 10 weeks of morning sickness?  I really try to have a positive happy attitude and be grateful for the opportunity to be pregnant again.  I have come to a point that I'm just tired of being sick.  Don't get me wrong.  I can handle, and am grateful - extremely grateful - for days where I'm only nauseous and can feel better for the most part with gingerale and food.  It's the days where I feel like puking, and nothing takes it away; those are the awful days.  The days when I do very little and joke about needing to be turned so I don't get bed sores.

So I've come to a point where I want to feel better.  Through this experience I gained empathy for people with chronic illnesses.  I know my sickness will go away, hopefully in a couple of weeks, but maybe not until birth - at any rate, I know it will go away.  I can't imagine having a chronic illness and feeling this way everyday.

I Get The Hint

When Kendra was a baby I painted her room to look like this: 

Before I painted it was purple from floor to ceiling and was just too dark.  I thought this was cute and girly.  I loved this room.  It was the first I painted in our home.  I loved holding Kendra at night as I would get a chance to just sit and admire how adorable this space was.


It has since turned to this:

Not so cute anymore.  Kendra apparently gets bored at night and tears what she can.  Sigh.  My girl is getting older and wants an older room.


So now it is in the process of looking like this:

 (Yes, Kendra also drew on the walls).  Bahh.  So much cuter with wallpaper.  I haven't decided if I'm really going to paint the whole room again.   It needs something though.

A New Pet

We found a new friend today.  Megan greatly enjoyed snuggling her new pet. (Kendra's not feeling well and didn't get to enjoy this moment *sniff*, we did have about 6 weeks without any illness which is a record for us.)   It was so cute that now I can't bring myself to kill it.  Maybe I can get Mark to throw them in the arroyo after the kids go to sleep.  I'd keep them but I have two problems: 1. they'll eat my plant and 2. they're a moth - a giant privet moth! 

These babies get huge - probably to match the size they will be when they come out of the cocoon.

There are two friends.  The biggest is on the left top corner and the smaller is down near the bottom right.

Our Decision

After I had Megan I decided I was done.  Her illness caused not only severe sleep deprivation, but a mother on the brink of mental insanity.  I couldn't go through that again.

Then I felt like someone was missing.  I thought about every facet of having another kid and finally decided I had to do it.  I made a promise after Kendra that I would never deny a spirit a chance at life.  It was a leap of faith for me.

I'm about 3 months along.  I have two different due dates so somewhere at the end of January, beginning of February our third one will make an appearance.  It is most likely a girl since our first two are girls.  I don't want to find out what we are having at our ultrasound and want to be surprised, but that decision is killing Mark.

I've had morning sickness and deserve a gold star for swimming with Megan the last month in swim lessons!  I've gained a ton of weight already - a pound a week.  I'm hoping once I feel better and don't have to eat to function that it will go down to 1/2 pound a week.  It really is amazing that I'm as functional as I am.  I'm already showing but refuse to wear prego clothes until I'm 16 weeks.  Does everyone stretch out faster with their third?  And gain more weight?

Yep, We Did It Again