Refiner's Fire

The last few months have been tough. It began when Kendra and Megan got croup. It took Kendra 2 1/2 weeks before improving and Megan 4 weeks. Megan never really got over it and became ill again after 2 weeks of her recovery. 2 weeks ago (after being sick for 2 weeks) I finally caved and took her to the doctor...again. She has had a persistent cough since croup and I wanted her lungs to get checked. Her lungs were fine but she had a horrible ear infection. I reluctantly took the antibiotic because, by this time, I was so desperate for her to be well again.


After croup I said, "no more sickness until the fall!" I was tired from holding Megan night after night so she could breathe and was pretty much up all night. Then she got sick again. "This is it," I said, "surely this will be our last sickness until fall." I was wrong again. We went to Utah this past weekend to visit family and Meggers got the flu. Now I just expect we will continue to get ill with whatever is in the air. I must say that I am very tired of her being sick. I'm sure she feels the same way.

And as it continues Megan IS sick again. She has a cold and cough. Sometimes she coughs so hard she vomits. It's fine. I'm use to it. Sometimes she eats too much and pukes. I'm use to that too. She even will gag on her food and vomit. That is just how life is.

I'm very sleep deprived and wonder how moms of chronically ill children do this year after year. One of my students (way back when) had restricted lung capacity. This made it very difficult for him to breathe but particularly difficult at night. For years she and her husband took turns sleeping next to their son to help him during those nights. Or another mom whose son I also worked with had severe but high functioning autism and he had bi-polar disorder. He had the most severe behavior of any student I had ever worked with. Due to his bi-polar disorder he would also not sleep for days. His mom put all of her life aside to take care of her son. She rarely gets a break from him because no one can handle him like she can. Amazing. How do they do it?

Today is the first day this week (Friday, May 14th) Megan has not insisted I hold her all day long. It drove me crazy not to have a break from her. Even when Mark would come home she didn't want her daddy, just her mommy.